Demyx the Melodious Jokester
by veronica.toon.7
Summary: When Demyx is working, he is bored. When he is bored, his mind wanders. When his mind wanders, he tends to get into some trouble. When he decided it would be fun to write down a list of jokes he made about the Organization and such instead of doing his mission report, he did not know he would bring chaos over himself, even though we all did.
**Ladies and gentlemen, this is my ode to writer's block. Down with the writer's block! Down! writer's block! Down! Bad! XD If you were wondering what the words were in the image above, it's "There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor" -Charles Dickens. It is so true.**

 **I own nothing. Kingdom Hearts and all its content belong to Disney and Square Enix! I don't own the cover image either.**

 **Enjoy the story!**

* * *

Demyx groaned as he sat on his bed. Just coming back from a mission and hanging in his report, only to have it thrown back at him and told to do it better, was not fun for him. Now he had just half an hour to finish his report and so far all he had done was write his name at the top of the blank piece of paper.

He groaned as he peeled himself off his bed for like the third time this evening and walked sluggishly over to his white desk near his white wall in his white room. White! Why did it all have to be white! White bed, white sheets, white floor, white ceiling, white, blank piece of paper.

He blinked and stared down at this piece of paper in his hand. He had gotten distracted with his thoughts again. Sighing, he sat down in his white chair and took his white pencil and looked down at the white blankness of the paper.

And stared at it.

He hated this. Well, as much as a Nobody could. He hated all this whiteness, he hated all his work on him, he hated writing stupid reports that would just be thrown back at him and told to redo.

His fist slammed down on the wooden desk's surface with a thump and he heard a thud from beside him. He twisted his head to the left and saw one of the few things he had that weren't that awful tint.

A colorful book. A colorful joke book.

He smiled and held it. Though he despised reading because it was so 'boring', he did like this book. He licked the finger of his glove and turned to one of the pages he liked the most. It was a short book, but it had good quality jokes. Among his favorites was the section dedicated to riddles, especially one about a lightbulb being screwed in.

He chuckled just beginning to think about it. Then, like it did most of the day, his mind started to wander and turn.

He suddenly turned back to his piece of paper. He grasped his pencil firmly between his two fingers and quickly scribbled the thought on the paper before it had a chance to leave his mind. After he put the period down, he leaned back a bit to admire his work.

Q: How many Org. 13 members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?  
A: 13.(or 14 if you add in Xion, I guess.) 11(12) members to hold Larxene down and one to screw the lightbulb in her mouth.

A small giggle escaped his throat, and instantly the gears in his head started turning quicker. He began scribbling down more stiff on the paper.

Q: What do you call a porcupine crossed with a boy?  
A: Sora.

He chuckled, thinking about the time he spied on Sora as he walked through the Olympus Coliseum, wielding the keyblade and saving the worlds with his two companions.

Speaking of keyblades.

Q: What do you call a blonde porcupine crossed with a boy?  
A: Roxas.

Another chortle. It did seem that both boys could care to learn about what a comb was, cause it was a bit of a joke around here that one of these days the spikes on their heads will poke someone's eye out.

'Was' being the key term here. One look from Xigbar's lone eye silenced anyone who dare even mention the joke. Demyx scowled at the thought of his fellow member and quickly wrote another joke down.

Q: What do you get when you cross and skunk and a really mean and immature man?  
A: Xiggy! XP - tongoo tonguu tongue sticking out.

He smiled triumphantly at the thought of the face of his fellow worker's face when he showed him the nearly full piece of paper.

And speaking of another member.

Knock knock.  
Who's there?  
Dusk.  
Dusk who?  
Dusk you if you don't get on your missions and write a hard report for me to just barely look at before throwing it away and telling you to redo it because I'm a jerk. Rar!

Demyx nearly fell out of his chair laughing as tears sprung to his eyes. He looked and saw he had just enough space for one more joke. He started chewing on his eraser as he thought for a moment for the next Org. member he disliked and quickly thought of something they would really dislike to read or hear.

Q: Why is Kingdom Hearts called 'Kingdom Hearts'?  
A: Because he/she/it thought that 'Empire Hearts' made he/she/it sound fat.

He actually did fall out of his chair this time, clutching his stomach as his ribs started to ache. Best joke list ever.

He stopped rolling hysterically on the floor and froze in fear when he heard his least favorite voice from behind his bedroom door.

"Demyx. I have come for your report. Hand it over, now."

Saix.

He quickly got up to his feet and scrambled to get another piece of paper from his desk drawer. He was having so much fun writing hilarious things on paper that he did not realize the time had passed and he had to turn in his paper now.

He could practically feel the impatience coming from Saix from behind his door. Heck, he could even feel his laser eyes staring at him from behind the wood. He quickly scratched some things about his mission, mainly adjectives, onto the new report, nearly breaking the tip of his pencil in the process.

He was done. He lifted up his mission report and opened the door, met instantly with the scary, blue-haired Nobody. He grinned and thrusted the paper at him. His second-in-command just gave him a hard stare before snatching the report from him, turning and walking away.

Demyx closed his door, sighing in relief as he left. His eyes traveled over to his desk before widening in confusion. Where was his joke list?

He did a quick sweep around his desk, but he couldn't see it anywhere. He shrugged and sighed again, deciding he'd look for him tomorrow. But right now he felt exhausted, so he walked over to his bed, lifted the covers over him and was asleep in record time.

* * *

Saix glared at the report Demyx had given him, amazed that it was even worse than the first one. An ape could've done a much nicer and probably even neater job than the deevolved No. 9. His mind was already going through several ways how to punish the younger member when his eyes caught sight of another paper behind the report. He pulled it out and began scan reading it. His eye started to twitch as he got to the end and lingered over the last joke.

Almost immediately, he had stood up from his desk and began to way up to the Altar of Naught where he knew for certain a Nobody was there and would definitely want to see this.

* * *

"Demyx. Today you have an easy mission. Go to Wonderland and scout around," he said the next morning.

He stared emotionlessly at his clipboard as Demyx gave out a sigh of relief. A dark corridor appeared beside him and Demyx walked in. Before he could enter the other side, Saix quickly cut off the connection at the World that Never Was. And, for the first time in a long while, he allowed the sides of his lips to curve up into a smirk.

On the other side, Demyx stared fearfully and gaped in shock as he stood before three gigantic, humongous Scarlet Tangos. His shock quickly turned to anger as he realized who was behind it.

"SSSSAAAIIIXXXXX," he screamed at the top of his lungs. He quickly regretted it though when the three towering giants caught sight of him, along with the rest of the heartless swarming around him.

"Oh darn," he muttered, and the chase was on.

* * *

 **And this is my return to inspiration out of horrible, horrible writer's block. Sorry if my writing style appeared a bit different from normal, but I was in a hurry to complete this. Also the misspelled words are intentional, since I figure if Demyx is so bad at writing reports, his grammar and spelling should be awful too. XD Hope you enjoyed the jokes, I did all of them myself. Please leave a review with some much appreciated feedback and I'll see you next time. Sincerely, v.t.7**


End file.
